Questions that are better left unasked....

RECYCLED BLOG POSTS - Originally written under the blog Sailing San San, I had written the post the first time because I sensed my questions were bothersome to the people I interacted with. After a recent conversation with some newbie cruisers who bombarded me with these same questions I felt the need to revisit the topic here on Felicity.

Conversationally Challenged: Yup, that's me. I can usually be found half choking on my foot. Being a big mouth is something that comes naturally to me. After asking the wrong thing a few times I’ve learned. I thought to myself, "Why did I just say that?"

Oops

As you cruise you meet all types. I've found a few people "out here" in this society, are a little bit more guarded, maybe because they didn't enjoy being "in there", where our personal information is being spread out among the public like wildfire. Some are ex-pats, some are running from something or someone and some are just sick of the "norm" and want to try to live a little differently. We'd be under that category. We are tired of the "rut".
In another life, I would meet people and jump right in fearlessly asking them a few general questions. What's your name? Where are you from? How old are you?
These seem harmless enough right? Sadly, no. These simple questions have been known to raise some eyebrows.
Anyway, I have observed there are a few things you just don't ask people when first meeting them; these questions OR any variation of them.

What's your name? – A lot of the time, the guy they call Willie, Scottie or Captain ______ (fill in the blank) is really using this nick name for a reason. Generally, they will tell you their name or their boat name when they are good and ready. There is a good chance you won't remember either one in any case. “Out here” you meet tons of people a day and as long as you say hello, you'll be considered polite. What’s in a name anyway?

Where are you from? - You will meet sailors from all over the world. Some have been travelling so long they have severed ties to anything that resembles a place to call home. If you are lucky, you'll catch a glimpse of the hailing port on the hull or an obvious accent from New York or Maine. Even then you can’t be too sure. "Where are you from?" can be where did you just come from, today, last week, or where were you born? Sassy answers are never appreciated so if you just avoid this question all together, you are better off.

How old are you? - Although some people would never ask this question, you'd be surprised who does. I would say I am one of the small percentage of the younger population out here and most cruisers are of the younger end of retirement age. I would never ask how old someone was but I have often been the one asked. Although, I don't mind (too much) let's just say you’d better stand clear of any spare screwdrivers or spoons that may suddenly jump off the table in your direction! ;)

The biggest question is, "How do you afford this lifestyle?"
Money is a touchy subject with everyone. I've met people on less than a shoe string budget and I've met some that didn't even have the word budget in their vocabulary. The difference is not always clear either. Just because the boat is pristine doesn't mean money is not an object, and vice versa. We are all out here to have a good time and the condition of one's boat doesn't have anything to do with what their bank account looks like. Assumptions are best left to the weatherman.

So as your cruising and meeting people you will be able to learn these things on your own.  A lot of this is common sense, but some of it is surprising because we are so excited to meet new friends and learn about them. A good idea may be to wonder quietly instead of aloud.

**Not everyone reacts with a raised eyebrow to questions like this, this is just what I have observed in my experience.