Reality Check

Well, hello out there! (echo, echo, echo)

It's been FAR too long since I've logged onto this blog to make a report on our progress (or lack thereof).

I feel like we've been completely consumed by the "real" world. The life of responsibility. Wake up, look presentable (is this clean? sniff), feed everyone, make lunches, beds, clean  the cat box, toss the garbage, drive Gia to school then me to work in traffic - Work - WORK, then drive back home in traffic, Traffic - TRAFFIC!! Make dinner, do homework, feed the cats, clean the lunch boxes, do some kind of boat project, shower?? Have I mentioned it's been a LONG time since I had a 9 - 5? I wasn't just working 5 days a week either, I was picking up gigs left and right for charters. Days that can last up to 15 hours. I was tired. All work and no play.

Last week, I had a breakdown. I should have stopped to use a restroom as soon as I felt the urge. But I was in a rush, right? Got to get to work on time! To my surprise the highway suddenly turned into a parking lot, a horrific accident shut 95 down at midnight - it was now 8:30am. After 2 hours my eyeballs were yellow and I'm pretty sure I developed a twitch in my eye! I didn't realize how much I was wrapped up in this hustle bustle shit! My blood pressure rose; my nerves were shot. I had premonitions of a major wreck on highway 95 with every tap of the brakes. Because I wear my heart on my sleeve everyone noticed. I didn't know how to turn it off. I wanted to throw in the towel. What was the root of the problem?

I wasn't living in the present moment. All the projects that need to be done, the supplies to be purchased filled my mind. I held my breathe  and clutched the wheel as I pushed pedal to metal rushing to make some deadline, to punch a time clock. What the heck!? I haven't felt this - EVER! What could I do? Well, for starters I decided to get the heck off the highway. Now, I take a nice leisurely cruise down US1. The speedometer doesn't reach 50mph. I hit every light. And I don't give a flip. In fact, I crank up the tunes and chill out. After taking this step back I see other vehicles filled with "rushers"; zigging, zagging in and out only to end up beside me. I say a silent pray that they too will slow down.

Que Sera Sera - Whatever will be, will be. There will always be things on my mind, projects to do and lists that need doing but as long as we stay in the here and now, the future can wait.

A big part of what's going on right now aboard Felicity should be recorded and it will, eventually. I mean it's pretty major stuff! But I'm so tired, I'm so pulled in other directions I haven't been able to steal away. The reason there aren't more blogs out there that describe every detail all the amazing things that take place during a boat refit is because it's time consuming, it's hard on the body AND the mind! So, please be patient with us and me as we slowly pump out updates.

Namaste!
Jessica
xox