Raft Up: No Man is an (I)sland!

My mother used to say that our family was like a mobile above a baby's crib, each of us connected. If one was "out of whack" the rest of us would be affected, maybe wiggle and jerk around. We were  encouraged to think about each decision we made and the impact it would have on the rest of our home.
John Donne's poem, " No Man is an Island" reminds us that we are in fact all one, connected and the impact is that much greater for cruisers due to the fact that we live in such close quarters!

There are quite a few other factors that make cruising and relationships more challenging than NOT.

• The biggest challenge being the lack of real space we have to separate ourselves from one another. Nothing makes the boat feel smaller than tension! We have instituted the 5 minute rule. Once a conflict has presented itself, the two parties have 5 minutes to resolve it. There is no room on board to continue with the typical silent treatment. Get all your issues out on the table, respect each others opinion, see things from the other parties point of view. Learn to agree OR learn to agree to disagree, period. The end. In the event that this just can't work, try a ride in the dinghy. Sometimes a change of scenery like quiet time on the bow or cockpit. These rules apply to all parties, regardless of age. How quickly things are put into perspective when suddenly the two of you have to work together to deal with a dragging anchor or drifting dinghy. You are then thrust into your familiar roles as team players and all the tension falls away!

• Time spent apart becomes less and less as you shed the financial responsibilities. With no job to report to, no school, no Grandma's down the street to babysit and no real schedule seems to leave everyone wondering what to do with themselves. It takes some time to learn to enjoy yourself, your hobbies or make plans with other cruisers. Fill up your days with boat projects, or home-school followed by an onshore play-date. Keep moving. It's easy to fall into a lazy pattern that can breed stress. As far as romancing your significant other, if you have been together long enough you know that you can make "things work" anywhere with very little noise and movement even while the children and/or guests are less than 20' away! Sometimes, that's all we really need to find relief! Believe me, somehow we always find a way, right?!

• Now that we have covered two main reasons for tension as a live aboard cruiser, Space & Time. Let's talk about how much fun it is to be ALONE!! I loooove me some alone time. AND I don't actually have to be alone to enjoy it.  I can hop into the head and spend an hour by myself plucking my eyebrows, painting my toenails or re-organizing our toiletries! I enjoy reading for hours in a hammock on the foredeck and can completely separate myself from what's happening on the boat even with the sound of the drill screaming in the background! A deserted island isn't often thought of as a dream come true but it seems to be all we keep searching for! As cruisers, by definition we are aiming to be different, to be separate from the rest. Savor your alone time, use it to enhance who you are and then spread your happiness out into the world that surrounds you, don't become a curmudgeon!!

Thanks for reading our thoughts on Relationships on Board! Please check out what our other bloggers had to say by clicking on the icon below.
Namaste.


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Boating Stigmas

Image found here.

After two sailboats and two distinctly different cruises through the Eastern & Western Caribbean we purchased a power boat. (Begin SCOFF) Felicity, a 1968 50' Hatteras was (in our minds) the end-all-be all. The. Perfect. Boat. (for us) Honestly,we were a little anxious to reveal this monstrous boat that lacked a mast, sail and a deep draft. Why? Well because for centuries sailors and power boaters have not seen eye to eye. It seems your either one or the other NOT BOTH! You  can't straddle the proverbial line between laid back sailor and stuffy, wake throwing power boater! Yet, here we are. Decidedly in love with both types of boats and the lifestyles that accompany them. We are able to talk from both sides of the coin thanks to experience and quite frankly, we may "someday" become sailboat owners' again.

So what's it like to be a rag-bagger and a stink-potter? A blow-boater and a WAFI (wind assisted F****** idiot)? Well, really it feels no different. I don't mind being both. But I do mind the fact that while we haven't changed peoples' reaction to us sure have. I've met losers and real winners from both camps. It doesn't matter the type of boat, AT ALL!

I don't like the stigmas. To each his own. Yet, from the fly-bridge I sure do see things differently. I see that regardless of the boat we surround ourselves with we are one and your actions speak louder than words. That being said I have advice for both sides,

Please wave "Hello!" to all vessels that pass.
Please know & follow the "rules of the road!"
Please use your VHF, communicate with traffic.
Please use common sense and compassion.
Please practice patience, for your own good and the good of others.
Please be aware of your wake and know that you ARE responsible for any damage left by that wake.
Please be aware of your vessel at all times and keep annoying sounds to a minimum (halyards, noisy generators).

I merely write this post to remind us all that when stripped of our sails and engines we are all just brothers and sisters with a passion for adventure on the water!

Ahhh, the Book Exchange

A lot of people ask what we do with "all that time" on our hands when we are cruising, well, I read. I read - a lot! Before we left Miami I stocked up on all those classic authors I never had time for like Ernest Hemingway, Herman Hesse, Charles Dickens & Ayn Rand. When we were sailing long, slow days I dove head first into tales that needed my full attention. Something, I couldn't do when I was caught up in the ho-hum of the daily grind(much like I am now). The first thing I did when we'd get to a new spot was find the book exchange! Packing up my good reads in a canvas bag and unloading & then re-loading with new titles and a BIG grin on my face! Free, Free, FREE! It seems nothing in life is free, except book exchanges!;)

Most every marina office or cruiser lounge has one, sometimes even the local marine shop. Personally, I feel a book exchange is a great courtesy that creates an intellectual space; allowing people to share fiction and non-fiction in a way that is old fashioned, friendly and leaves a warm feeling in my heart. When Gia was a baby, I got books for her that had names inscribed in the covers, sometimes paint stained the torn pages. They were once another child's books and for me that meant something. I have a thing for hand-me-downs. Gia, too, has left several books for other children to enjoy all over the places we have traveled. Once, in the tiny island of Nevis, we donated a few books to the local library and months later when we returned home there was a letter addressed to a 5 year old Gia, thanking her for her donation. I think I shed a tear of happiness. Books are powerful instruments that teach, encourage imagination and inspire us everyday.

Have you found your local book exchange? What are you reading these days?

“Books are a uniquely portable magic.”
― Stephen King, On Writing

 

Felicity's Five Favorite Marinas

We have never been a fan of docks. They can take a huge bite out of the cruising kitty; but let's face it marinas can be a necessary evil. Choosing a marina to stay in for one or more nights can be a daunting task. Having up to date information and/or good cruising guides can really make the search easier. Sometimes we would just take a stab in the dark by calling random marinas that were close to where we'd be stopping and ask a few key questions. 

No matter the amenities, price is the biggest factor. Many marinas will have some but not all the amenities included in the price of dockage. That is where you compare the amount of time you are staying on the dock to the cost of the slip. Are you getting your money's worth?

In keeping with the theme of "Sailors gone Power" I must say that in the sailboat, dockage was almost never beneficial for us because we were completely electricity free. There was no reason to plug in, no refrigeration, no air condition and any of our power draws were handled by our wind generator. However, on Felicity, we "need" the dock. We have a generator that doesn't run (yet) and an electric stove, fridge, heat and air conditioning AND 32 volt lighting! Needless, to say when we began our cruise down the inter-coastal we stopped (almost) every night at a marina in order to cook and heat the boat. (North Carolina in November, need I say more?)

Since we stayed in so many marinas, I decided to give the ones that were worth our while a little love by recommending them to all of you! If you find yourself in this neck of the woods you won't be disappointed and I'll tell you why not...

Ocean Isle Marina 

North Carolina just 2 miles east of mile mark 335.5

Ocean Isle Marina will always have a special place in our hearts because it was there where first laid eyes on our new girl, Felicity. OCM has all the benefits a traveling cruiser needs, internet, shower and laundry facilities, fuel, and water. There were hardware stores, grocery, eateries as well as thrift stores nearby and car rental was easy! They specialize in winter storage due to their location in North Carolina and their ease of access out the inlet attracts many center consoles and sport fishing vessels. They have dock space for up to 30 vessels but could also accommodate larger vessels as they have a few long spaces. OCM gave a us a very warm welcome into our new venture of power boating. The staff was friendly and helpful in helping us get off the dock and underway. Gia made friends with the resident dog, Toby, a Labra-doodle and even got us a walk on the beach with Toby's pet, Tim.

Osprey Marina

MM373 Myrtle Beach SC

Osprey Marina is by far the least expensive, $1 a foot! Seriously! When we called they weren't sure they had room for us, so we waited for a call back. Sherry, Osprey Marina manager called back to let us know they had "made" room for us. We were a bit curious but found out after we arrived a marina employee who lived aboard moved his boat just so we could have that slip. Talk about accommodation! We were instructed to go to the office and get our "welcome gift". The office shares a space with a well stocked mini market and a cafe/grill. Sherry, the sweetest lady invited us to free crackers with all the jams, jellies and butter we'd like to try! After we settled up she handed us a gift bag filled with goodies! They also offered, free internet that was easy to access from inside the boat.

*Recently, we even received a call from Osprey Marina, to thank us for staying with them.

Port Royal Landing Marina

Beaufort/Port Royal SC MM 539

This marina dazzled us with their excellent customer service. They had internet service, cable, and water. There was a charge for electricity but it was minimal. We called in and were given easy instructions to pull up to the face dock. The same person who spoke to me on the phone tied up our lines and when we were tied off he reached to shake GR's hand and said, "Welcome to Port Royal!" That right there, that small but powerful, southern hospitality struck a chord with us. We have told everyone about the place ever since! It didn't end there. We have always joked about finding a marina with a courtesy car. Well, yup, they had one. Although, we didn't need it, we did giggle knowing we had finally hit one of those marinas!

*Port Royal Landing Marina did not hesitate adding us to their e-mailing list and we even received a post card thanking us for our patronage!

Fernandina Harbor Marina

On the Florida/Georgia Border @ MM716

What a great welcome into Florida. Stopping at Fernandina was a great way for our friends from Georgia to come over and see us! Staying in Fernandina was a fabulous treat! I love the vibe of that old time Florida town. There are many shops nearby house in those old brick buildings that transport you to times gone by. Fernandina Harbor Marina has one of the largest face docks offer 1,000 ft of space and it gets filled pretty quickly. They offer fuel, laundry and internet access as well as cable and water.

Dinner Key Marina

25.43.9 N  80.14.3 W  Mile 1095

We are now able to call Dinner Key our home. Officially, we are tied up to the dock on Pier 7 and we are content. We are so busy with work that we haven't had too much time to dig in to many boat projects but being at the dock allows easy access to shore for work and school. Dinner Key has a friendly staff and water & electricity are included in the dockage. However steep the price, we know that we have it good living on the water. The homes on shore rent for far more than we pay so we feel we are better off since our home can carry us wherever we please in good time! Coconut Grove is an awesome location allowing for us to feel the city vibe of Miami but still be in a small village where everybody knows our name.


Wherever you are, remember that you can always change your attitude even if you can't change your scenery:)

Our First Peeve

Shielding his eyes from the sun, he asks "Can you see the name on that boat, Babe?" I run to get my glasses on, " Um, I think it says Scandia?"

It never really bothered us before, but now it seems that the names on the back of some boats are WAY too small! Or there is a dinghy covering it up. Some names aren't even on the stern. We've seen more boats this week with the name on the side of the hull than ever before.

Why is it so important to see the name of the boat in front of us? In Inland Waterways, everyone is supposed to agree on a side to pass so we are all on the same page. We are cruising at a cool 10 knots and need to pass a boat; we need to call them to see which side they are comfortable with us passing on. We also ask if they have a preference? It's just a courtesy, a small gesture that make the difference in everyone's opinion of "the powerboater". AND we don't want to make a bad impression, considering we only just started being powerboaters!  We would like to let them know we will give them a nice slow pass and thank them and wish them a happy day!

BUT if we can't see the name, it sounds something like this, "Sailing Vessel, uh...(insert massacred name here)"

We are really trying hard to not be that guy. The rude, stink potter. Being former sail boaters we know both sides now. Getting an unexpected wake really sucks!

Boating courtesies work both ways, so think about this if you have a small, hard to see or hard to pronounce boat name. Maybe give the boat behind you a call, good communication will help everyone's day go more smoothly!