Raft Up: No Man is an (I)sland!

My mother used to say that our family was like a mobile above a baby's crib, each of us connected. If one was "out of whack" the rest of us would be affected, maybe wiggle and jerk around. We were  encouraged to think about each decision we made and the impact it would have on the rest of our home.
John Donne's poem, " No Man is an Island" reminds us that we are in fact all one, connected and the impact is that much greater for cruisers due to the fact that we live in such close quarters!

There are quite a few other factors that make cruising and relationships more challenging than NOT.

• The biggest challenge being the lack of real space we have to separate ourselves from one another. Nothing makes the boat feel smaller than tension! We have instituted the 5 minute rule. Once a conflict has presented itself, the two parties have 5 minutes to resolve it. There is no room on board to continue with the typical silent treatment. Get all your issues out on the table, respect each others opinion, see things from the other parties point of view. Learn to agree OR learn to agree to disagree, period. The end. In the event that this just can't work, try a ride in the dinghy. Sometimes a change of scenery like quiet time on the bow or cockpit. These rules apply to all parties, regardless of age. How quickly things are put into perspective when suddenly the two of you have to work together to deal with a dragging anchor or drifting dinghy. You are then thrust into your familiar roles as team players and all the tension falls away!

• Time spent apart becomes less and less as you shed the financial responsibilities. With no job to report to, no school, no Grandma's down the street to babysit and no real schedule seems to leave everyone wondering what to do with themselves. It takes some time to learn to enjoy yourself, your hobbies or make plans with other cruisers. Fill up your days with boat projects, or home-school followed by an onshore play-date. Keep moving. It's easy to fall into a lazy pattern that can breed stress. As far as romancing your significant other, if you have been together long enough you know that you can make "things work" anywhere with very little noise and movement even while the children and/or guests are less than 20' away! Sometimes, that's all we really need to find relief! Believe me, somehow we always find a way, right?!

• Now that we have covered two main reasons for tension as a live aboard cruiser, Space & Time. Let's talk about how much fun it is to be ALONE!! I loooove me some alone time. AND I don't actually have to be alone to enjoy it.  I can hop into the head and spend an hour by myself plucking my eyebrows, painting my toenails or re-organizing our toiletries! I enjoy reading for hours in a hammock on the foredeck and can completely separate myself from what's happening on the boat even with the sound of the drill screaming in the background! A deserted island isn't often thought of as a dream come true but it seems to be all we keep searching for! As cruisers, by definition we are aiming to be different, to be separate from the rest. Savor your alone time, use it to enhance who you are and then spread your happiness out into the world that surrounds you, don't become a curmudgeon!!

Thanks for reading our thoughts on Relationships on Board! Please check out what our other bloggers had to say by clicking on the icon below.
Namaste.


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Click on the monkey's fist to read others bloggers on this topic.

Boating Stigmas

Image found here.

After two sailboats and two distinctly different cruises through the Eastern & Western Caribbean we purchased a power boat. (Begin SCOFF) Felicity, a 1968 50' Hatteras was (in our minds) the end-all-be all. The. Perfect. Boat. (for us) Honestly,we were a little anxious to reveal this monstrous boat that lacked a mast, sail and a deep draft. Why? Well because for centuries sailors and power boaters have not seen eye to eye. It seems your either one or the other NOT BOTH! You  can't straddle the proverbial line between laid back sailor and stuffy, wake throwing power boater! Yet, here we are. Decidedly in love with both types of boats and the lifestyles that accompany them. We are able to talk from both sides of the coin thanks to experience and quite frankly, we may "someday" become sailboat owners' again.

So what's it like to be a rag-bagger and a stink-potter? A blow-boater and a WAFI (wind assisted F****** idiot)? Well, really it feels no different. I don't mind being both. But I do mind the fact that while we haven't changed peoples' reaction to us sure have. I've met losers and real winners from both camps. It doesn't matter the type of boat, AT ALL!

I don't like the stigmas. To each his own. Yet, from the fly-bridge I sure do see things differently. I see that regardless of the boat we surround ourselves with we are one and your actions speak louder than words. That being said I have advice for both sides,

Please wave "Hello!" to all vessels that pass.
Please know & follow the "rules of the road!"
Please use your VHF, communicate with traffic.
Please use common sense and compassion.
Please practice patience, for your own good and the good of others.
Please be aware of your wake and know that you ARE responsible for any damage left by that wake.
Please be aware of your vessel at all times and keep annoying sounds to a minimum (halyards, noisy generators).

I merely write this post to remind us all that when stripped of our sails and engines we are all just brothers and sisters with a passion for adventure on the water!

The " Working Man's Price"!

Just because you have a boat doesn't mean you're not on a budget!

Yachting is Fort Lauderdale's biggest money maker! These mega-yacht owners spare no expense when it comes to their boat. The salaries for a couple full time crew alone can cost up to a million per year, not to mention yacht maintenance and slip fees! Fort Lauderdale is also known as the Venice of Florida because of the hundreds of canals that litter the landscape. One can't go far without seeing boats tied up behind every building and some spectacular million dollar homes. Being here is all part of our "master plan", which is of course, Project Motor Boat. We will be getting Felicity upgraded with some serious cruising equipment like wind generators, solar panels and a generator. Being here gets us much closer to all the connections we have made over the past 4 years with some of the best contractors in the industry!

But today, I bring you a little insider knowledge. Fort Lauderdale is often called the "Yachting Capital of The World" because it is home to thousands of marine businesses that cater to an international community of pleasure craft. What better place to begin to refit your boat, right? If you are a haggler, then yes! Let me let you in on a little insider's secret. These marine vendors are making a killing on the mega yachts! So when you need to rely on a woodworker or canvas shop, remember to ask for the "working man's price"!  Many friends of ours have bad mouthed the area because of high costs and I can relate; sticker shock gets us all. I admit, having a licensed captain and engineer on board sure helps out so we do our own work. BUT Then there are times when we have more money than time or just don't have the professional skill/tools for the job. In that case we still pull the "working man's price" card because everyone has a budget! Most of the businesses we have worked with will negotiate, especially in this economy. Give it a shot, what can it hurt?

Fort Lauderdale seems to go by many names, for us, we are calling her home. Now we can only look ahead to the exciting projects to come.

For now, though, it's back to work!

Do you know your level?

One of the things both power boaters and sail boaters can agree on is that the price of diesel these days is getting outrageous! Alas,every year during the Spring and Summer we see prices climb. It seems to happen just as we are about to start having some fun on our vacations! Knowing just how much fuel in your tank can mean extra money in your pocket for all those cold drinks! When we purchased Felicity we knew we would need to replace our fuel tank sensors and gauges. Coming down to Miami from North Carolina we would just fill her up every chance we got and monitored the tanks the old fashioned way, with a dowel. But not anymore...

Recently, we partnered up with WEMA USA Inc. We saw this company at The Miami International Boat Show and contacted them to begin the selection of products we would need. Their website explains in great detail just how to decide the right fit for you tanks, see here.  Dealing with the company was a breeze, we called and they answered the phone, big plus these days when most phone numbers are answered by a voice recording!

GR was able to do the entire job in about an hour! He removed the old gauge from our control panel and the two senders from the forward and aft tanks. The new WEMA reed type senders were the same bolt pattern so all he had to do was line them up. Reed type senders were a nice choice for our tanks because we have a lot of baffles (walls that keep the fuel from sloshing around too much) where the gauge is installed.

Overall we can say WEMA USA Inc. has exceeded our expectations by:

• Being just a phone call away. Knowing we could speak to a real, knowledgeable person.
• Having quality product. They were finished well, stainless steel welds all look nice.
• Giving us options. The gauge had an option for red or yellow light. (It's the little things!)
• Ease of operation, installation took all of an hour!

SPECIAL DEAL FOR YOU!!!

Because we love our readers so much, we are passing the savings on to YOU! When you place you order with WEMA, you will receive 20% off your online purchase! If you have been looking around and are ready to make the change your fuel tanks have been waiting for, now could be the best time!

Stopping to make our mark

Gia is growing so fast...

The saying goes, "growing like a weed" but I venture to say Gia is growing "like a tree", strong and tall! We walk past this park everyday in a bit of a hurry on our way to get home and throw down our bags and our cares from the day . Yesterday, something inside me made me just stop and throw my bag down right there at the park. "Let's just hang here," I said.

We sat in the park and chatted about the events of the day. We reflected on the way time flies and the beautiful sea grape tree leaves that surrounded us. We talked about what it must be like to be a tree, having seen so much change happen around you. At that, I told Gia how much I loved her and that many things in life will change but that will not. In this crazy, busy, uncertain life we lead our impact on the world around us is like that of falling leaves. Someone will see the leaves we have left behind and gauge who we are as a person by them. What kind of leaves are we leaving behind?

We decided to make our mark on some ofthe leaves that surrounded us. Gia took a moment to leave her mark on some leaves.

Good Times

Doing a little catch-up on the blog. Here are some photos from Friday night. It was sort of a send off for our friends, Shawn & Curtis on SV Papillon. After hanging with these guys for three months we had to say goodbye. They are going to head north nice and slow taking time to smell the salt air along the way to St. Augustine. Follow along on their blog.

Shawn & Curtis

 

 

GR & Me

By the way, Did you know we have been living aboard for 5 months!? We can't believe how fast the time has gone!

Sign Says

Sign reads: Welcome! My shop is nicely priced and you will find cool stuff! Warning, I do not have change so bring the right amount! Love, Gia

Technical Difficulties

It's just really ironic that in a third world country like Guatemala I had superb internet and was blogging daily. Yet send me home to Miami and it's like pulling teeth to get a signal. Our marina doesn't have free wi-fi, seriously. I was pirating it from somewhere but that option disappeared hence the lack of posting this week. So, here I sit at work on my time off at 9:05pm at night (way past our bedtime) to post to you lovely folks my apologies for simply falling off the map.

At some point, we will get one of those new inventions like a Mi-fi personal wireless set up, but we just aren't there yet. Last week GR work 14 days straight and this will be his first full weekend off since before the boat show. We are both working 2 jobs and we are not complaining. The cost of living is up but we are happy as clams to be where we are right now!

On a more exciting note, check out our new header! Courtesy of our awesome web savvy friends on Papillon!

In The World but OUT of the Stream

The view from our world...

Once again it's been a long time since I've published anything. In fact, it's been a long time since I've actually  sat down for more than 20 minutes other than dinner time. Dinner time at our home aka -  the floating palace, is a special time where we come together and share what went on in our lives while we were apart. Last week, I noticed I was going through some sort of withdrawal from my loves! I missed spending time with them and felt that school and work were taking there toll on us.

Having been separated from North America for the past 10 months I see not much has changed. I notice it in my customers' actions. They come into The Bookstore in a rush practically shoving their credit card in my hand or rushing their children to "hurry up and select a book" because they are double parked. It pains me to see. Recently, a product came in called, "Today I..." It's a game of conversation starters for families so that they can get a dialogue going about their day. When I saw this my gut reaction was, "Really?" I am so thankful our family doesn't need a game to tell us how to talk to each other. In fact, I heard someone say they were trying to have at least one family meal together each week and I thought, "Wow, is that enough?" What could be so important that people don't have enough time to sit down each night and have dinner?

Cruising/ Living on board has afforded us tons of quality time, time to cook together, talk about our days events and just bond. GR and I both agree that as children our families spent every night eating dinner together until we moved away from home. Even with all the after school sports and activities our families felt compelled to create an environment where talking, sharing and spending meal time together was imperative. It's not about the food it's about the gathering. Studies show that kids from families that spend meal time together are less likely to smoke, drink underage, swear, consider suicide and are more likely to have table manners, use better vocabulary and do well in school.

Now, we are living on the boat but we are citizens in the "real" world. I hold onto the sanctuary that we have created aboard Felicity. As we dinghy out to the boat I slowly feel the chains of land life lift off my shoulders. As we approach the stern of the boat, I feel the excitement and relief that comes with any homecoming. We throw all our backpacks and bags down and congregate in the galley. We make dinner, do home work and share the load of daily stresses.Our little "island" in the Bay offers the most incredible view of the "land of plenty" with out all the taxes, anchors and commitments. If we really wanted to we could throw off the lines and take off to any other place but here! We are secluded and separate in more ways than one. In that way, I love being a cruiser/live aboard in the world but out of the stream.

In what ways do you stay connected with your family?

With Peace & Love for You Today.

Our First Peeve

Shielding his eyes from the sun, he asks "Can you see the name on that boat, Babe?" I run to get my glasses on, " Um, I think it says Scandia?"

It never really bothered us before, but now it seems that the names on the back of some boats are WAY too small! Or there is a dinghy covering it up. Some names aren't even on the stern. We've seen more boats this week with the name on the side of the hull than ever before.

Why is it so important to see the name of the boat in front of us? In Inland Waterways, everyone is supposed to agree on a side to pass so we are all on the same page. We are cruising at a cool 10 knots and need to pass a boat; we need to call them to see which side they are comfortable with us passing on. We also ask if they have a preference? It's just a courtesy, a small gesture that make the difference in everyone's opinion of "the powerboater". AND we don't want to make a bad impression, considering we only just started being powerboaters!  We would like to let them know we will give them a nice slow pass and thank them and wish them a happy day!

BUT if we can't see the name, it sounds something like this, "Sailing Vessel, uh...(insert massacred name here)"

We are really trying hard to not be that guy. The rude, stink potter. Being former sail boaters we know both sides now. Getting an unexpected wake really sucks!

Boating courtesies work both ways, so think about this if you have a small, hard to see or hard to pronounce boat name. Maybe give the boat behind you a call, good communication will help everyone's day go more smoothly!