I've Got 99 Problems Because Boats Are Dumb!

"If you're having boat problems I feel bad for you hun,  we've got 99 problems 'cause boats are dumb!"

One of the most financially successful entrepreneur/hip hop artists of all time, Jay-Z, released a song called "99 Problems" (warning EXPLICIT lyrics) in 2004. The chorus sings, "I've got 99 problems and a b*&%$ ain't one"! This song is excellent for blasting and dancing or singing to expel any frustrations you may have during any of the following issues. So I made it "I've got 99 Problems Because Boats are Dumb!" Let's, for a moment, forget that song is incredibly inappropriate for children, women, authoritative figures and many others and just laugh with me - please!  

 This guy did a parody to the song so you'll get the gist of the song without the foul language. 

1. What's That Noise?
2. Canned Peas (eww)
3. Strainer is Blocked
4. The God Awful Caribbean Heat (seriously, I'm melting)
5. No See Ums!
6. There Goes My Nice Shirt... Again
7. Ran Aground
8. Sun Burn on Your Unmentionables
9. Rough Seas
10. Sailing with a Hangover
11. Prop got Bent
12. Out of Propane, COFFEE!!
13. Dust in my Varnish Job
14. Drain Clogged from...Ewww!
15. Steering Cable Broke
16. Hatches are Leaking
17. You Didn't Want to Be Anywhere By Any Certain Time Did You?
18. The "Dink, Dink, Dink" of "This Guy's" Halyard
19. Docking.
20. No Air Conditioning
21. Mosquitoes are Biting
22. Slip Fees
23. Something's Leaking but I have No Idea What
24. Haul Out Fees
25. Customs Fees
26. You Weren't Trying to Keep That White Shirt White, Right?
27. Bottom Cleaning, "Ouch, barnacles bite!"
28. Oh, You Mean You Made Plans?
29. Ever Heard of Chainplates? Yeah, You'd Better Check Them Out!
30. The Sound of Wires Inside the Mast "Tinkling"
31. Trying to Find Parts to ANYTHING in Exotic Locations
32. Hurricane Season
33. Batteries Are Dead
34. Ran Out of  Drinking Water
35. Bilge Pump Quit Working
36. Toilet Won't Flush
37. Anchorage Rolling
38. Fiberglass Dust in My Eye
39. 32 Volt Battery System
40. Generator Died
41. Friends are Leaving
42. Thru-hull Frozen
43. Hot Water Heater Died
44. Sailing to Windward
45. Climbing On-board at High Tide
46. B.O.A.T. - Break Out Another Thousand!
47. No Wi-Fi Connection
48. No GPS Satellite Reception, Back to the Charts!!
49. No Cable TV, Eh, There's Never Anything On Anyway!
50. Everything is Corroded, Damn That Sun!
51. The Dinghy is Missing - It Wasn't ME!
52. Outboard Won't Start, Time To Take Her Apart!
53. The ONLY Wrench Fell Overboard, AHHH!
54. 24 Hours with Your Partner, 365 Days....How Long Have we Been Doing This??
55. Listing Because of Weight, Are All The Cans On That Side?
56. Lines in the Propeller, Or Crab Pots
57. Ran Out of Fuel, "Boats Don't Run out of Fuel, Captain's Do!"
58. Tear in the Sail, Bust Out the Sail Repair Kit
59. Pump Out Fees, That Sh*t Stinks! (Pun Intended)
60. Dock Fees
61. Random Coast Guard Boarding ("for training")
62. No Fresh Veggies in Town
63. Laundry Day - Heavy Lifting
64. Rainy Season
65. Remember that Leak?!
66. Butchering the Local Language in Order to Get Parts
67. Pets, Vets, and Certificates
68. Remember HOT SHOWERS?
69. Varnish is Chipping
70. Cats Get Sea Sick
71. Cat Litter  Bits Everywhere
72. Cat Food Bits That You Randomly Stick to Feet
73. Do We Have Flea Medicine?
74. Vet Paperwork, Is it Current?
75. Registration, where is it? 
76. Do We Have Extra Impeller(s)
77. Warranty JUST Expired on That Thing
78. Blown Gaskets
79. Customs Fees (did I say that already?) (yes)
80. Pump Out Fee (something about all these fees)
81. Ran Out of Conditioner
82. Leaving Behind Amazing Friends
83. Honey, Where's the Cat? (overboard, yikes!)
84. The Horrors of Homeschooling
85. Is this Chicken? Or Lizard? Or, (shudder) just eat it!
86. Montezuma's Revenge!
87. Wait!! You're Having Fun?? Beep, beep!! Anchor Alarm
88. Big Boat Wakes
89. Inflatable Boat's Deflating
90. Fuel Costs
91. Naked Neighbors (not the hot ones!)
92. Unexplained bruises & scrapes
93. Lightening Strikes
94. Tricky Multi-Function Counter Space
95. Crazy, Sailor Girl Hair, Oh the knots!!
96. Outboard Engine Pull Start Cord Issues
97. Dust in Your Varnish Job
98. Mold Growing on Anything and Everything
99. Pump Out Hose Mishaps

And if you still want to go cruising, you just might survive with some amazing stories to regale your friends with for many, many years to come! Are we gluttons for punishment or is all our suffering just par for the course of steering our own way against the flow of an ordinary life in search of some extra - ordinary?

Did I Just Do That? - Side Effects of Cruising

Symptom #1) New Habits Die Hard

Some people do fist pumps.
I do foot pumps.

At my Grandmother's gleaming white, kitchen sink I pumped my leg up and down searching for the pedal.

That wouldn't have been such a big deal if I had actually been on a boat, where foot pumps are the norm at the galley sink. Noticing her collection of roosters staring at me I swept the dishrag over the counter, oops...that rooster was asking for it.

True story. 

For me, this return to terra firma kept proving just how much I'd changed.  Once recovered from the rooster attack I smiled, I couldn't remember how to act in a land based home. Leaving what I knew and starting anew brought on many emotions. Changes took place in me while I was away that may made me more sensitive, alert, happy and courteous.


Symptom 2)  Slow is the new fast.

Earlier in the day, I was told I could drive the car. (Gram's southern.)

Gram: Jessica.
Me: Yes?
Gram: Honey, you got to drive the speed limit child!
Me: I feel like I'm going so fast!

Yes. Walking can be faster than sailing, did you know that? Our most recent trip we'd done 4 knots all the way to Jamaica. Aboard Felicity, I joke that my cheeks flap at 10 knots!! Seriously though, driving in cars going high speeds wig me out. I rode a bike for 4 years!


Symptom 3) Budget, Budget, Budget

Running an economic cruising boat is something you learn as you go. Budget talk makes me cringe but GR is the money man. Thankfully, for us (me) he enjoys this task. He is constantly figuring costs when planning our next anchorage or our monthly projects all in order to keep our dream alive. When we are cruising we have learned to live more simply and work together as a team as each dollar is viewed as a fuel for our adventures! That being said, life on land becomes this constant negotiation of dollars and cents. Are we spending money that is supporting "the dream" is a question we often ask ourselves.




If you or someone you know is experiencing symptoms like these or others, you may need to seek a local happy hour or cruiser's potluck and start sharing stories and laughter!!

I'm sure I've missed a few other symptoms, have any to add?

Raft Up: No Man is an (I)sland!

My mother used to say that our family was like a mobile above a baby's crib, each of us connected. If one was "out of whack" the rest of us would be affected, maybe wiggle and jerk around. We were  encouraged to think about each decision we made and the impact it would have on the rest of our home.
John Donne's poem, " No Man is an Island" reminds us that we are in fact all one, connected and the impact is that much greater for cruisers due to the fact that we live in such close quarters!

There are quite a few other factors that make cruising and relationships more challenging than NOT.

• The biggest challenge being the lack of real space we have to separate ourselves from one another. Nothing makes the boat feel smaller than tension! We have instituted the 5 minute rule. Once a conflict has presented itself, the two parties have 5 minutes to resolve it. There is no room on board to continue with the typical silent treatment. Get all your issues out on the table, respect each others opinion, see things from the other parties point of view. Learn to agree OR learn to agree to disagree, period. The end. In the event that this just can't work, try a ride in the dinghy. Sometimes a change of scenery like quiet time on the bow or cockpit. These rules apply to all parties, regardless of age. How quickly things are put into perspective when suddenly the two of you have to work together to deal with a dragging anchor or drifting dinghy. You are then thrust into your familiar roles as team players and all the tension falls away!

• Time spent apart becomes less and less as you shed the financial responsibilities. With no job to report to, no school, no Grandma's down the street to babysit and no real schedule seems to leave everyone wondering what to do with themselves. It takes some time to learn to enjoy yourself, your hobbies or make plans with other cruisers. Fill up your days with boat projects, or home-school followed by an onshore play-date. Keep moving. It's easy to fall into a lazy pattern that can breed stress. As far as romancing your significant other, if you have been together long enough you know that you can make "things work" anywhere with very little noise and movement even while the children and/or guests are less than 20' away! Sometimes, that's all we really need to find relief! Believe me, somehow we always find a way, right?!

• Now that we have covered two main reasons for tension as a live aboard cruiser, Space & Time. Let's talk about how much fun it is to be ALONE!! I loooove me some alone time. AND I don't actually have to be alone to enjoy it.  I can hop into the head and spend an hour by myself plucking my eyebrows, painting my toenails or re-organizing our toiletries! I enjoy reading for hours in a hammock on the foredeck and can completely separate myself from what's happening on the boat even with the sound of the drill screaming in the background! A deserted island isn't often thought of as a dream come true but it seems to be all we keep searching for! As cruisers, by definition we are aiming to be different, to be separate from the rest. Savor your alone time, use it to enhance who you are and then spread your happiness out into the world that surrounds you, don't become a curmudgeon!!

Thanks for reading our thoughts on Relationships on Board! Please check out what our other bloggers had to say by clicking on the icon below.
Namaste.


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Click on the monkey's fist to read others bloggers on this topic.

What's the Reward?

Image found here.

Best Buy. Winn-Dixie. Pet Smart.

All have what in common??

They all have a rewards system. Who doesn't these days, right? You only need to open your wallet to see the tiny plastic cards plastered with brand names. There seems to be the idea that everything bears a reward. Especially things we spend our money on! So when dreaming of sailing away someday on a boat you don't often think of all the working time you will spend; covered in grease, grim, or paint. Using your boat helps you appreciate all the time you spend working on her. It seems for the past, well, year and a few months, we haven't gotten to do very much playing!

Well, today we went ahead and cashed in some of our rewards!! We needed a change of scenery but we won't be docking anywhere else, anytime soon, so we flipped Felicity around! Funny, how such a small adjustment can turn a the stench of routine into the spark of adventure! We are now looking out over the canal. I can hear the sound of a wake as it slaps under each dock before it gently rolls Felicity in her slip. I needed today something serious!

I'll never forget the first time I sailed out of that first inlet. Lake Worth. I was so excited and nervous I was glued to the port side railing the whole trip. In the morning as the sun blinded my bloodshot eyes, I saw dolphins in insane blue water. It was precisely that moment when I realized I would suffer that pain again in a second (if given the chance) to make this memory one more time!! That is the reward my friends.

The reward of cruising varies for everyone. What are some of your favorite rewards of cruising?
The perfect tan.
Cooking with native produce.
More family time.
Bonfires!

Kids4Sail - Where Cruising Kids Come First!

Site is actually now, Kids4Sail.ning.com

Raising kids on a boat is something I had absolutely no idea about until I had to do it! Even now, that I have done it, I consider myself no expert!
Plenty of people email and ask me questions like:

How did I plan?
What was it like homeschooling?
How did the kids respond to cruising?

My answer is this; with all the rum punches in between the whirlwind of cruising over 13 different countries, 3 different boats, 2 adopted cats and 4 school grades I don't know how it went but she turned out awesome so... I'd say it went pretty dang well!! My blogging has morphed quite a bit since we began this journey and unfortunately I have no old blogs to refer to our child rearing experiences aboard; only my memory holds the little tricks I learned along the way.

BUT if you are planning to raise your kids aboard someday have I got the website for YOU!! Kids4Sail is an incredible way to meet other cruising families. The website is a host for blogs, read their blog, photos, videos and even has a forum for kid related topics such as homeschooling and activities aboard! I "met" Erika Lelievre, the administrator/organizer of this site online through a mutual friend, a cruising mom, and joined the site as a way to keep in touch with the many children we've met while cruising. The best tool we've found is the "Member Map", it's been great for planning to arrive in an anchorage with some kids and scheduling play dates or home school dates! For you, it can be a veritable gold mine of information to help push you into (or out of) a pending decision.

Our little site has grown in leaps and bounds and we are hoping to gain at least 100 MORE cruising kids to our list so please, please, PLEASE JOIN or PASS the website onto a cruising family you know! Be sure to check out their Facebook page too!

**Seriously, though if you have specific questions about raising kids aboard or any topics for that matter, feel free to ask. I'll do my best to dust off the cobwebs from my memory!;)

Cruisers Laundry Etiquette 101

Laundry has always been one of the necessary evils of cruising. I don't know about you but I have found that the best way to do laundry is to go to the laundry room on a Thursday night with an *alcoholic beverage* of choice; load the machine and plop down with a good gossip mag! But, as we all know sometime life gets in the way and it just doesn't happen like that. WARNING: This may not be pretty and I may make some  people mad but, "Hey, the truth hurts sometimes." Also, while we should all really know this already; we could all use a kind reminder. I have come to the conclusion that there are two kinds of people in the laundry room. Inconsiderate *or* Considerate. Here is a list of things that will help keep you in the good graces of the laundering Gods (and your neighbors). 

1. Handling Other People's Stuff - While I am one who will absolutely NOT touch other people's laundry there comes a time when you need the machine that someone has long forgotten about and you just have to move it. If you have waited a reasonable amount of time, at least 10 or more (use your own parameters) minutes since the machine stopped, it's time to decide your plan of action. When removing people's laundry remember this - SH*T happens and sometimes people get hung up, the timer doesn't go off, kids get sick, whatever the reason people do not intentionally leave their laundry to piss you off, so be courteous. Put the laundry in a basket if it's dry or the dryer if it is wet. But DO NOT start the dryer. You are not doing them any favors as some people like to line dry. If you are there when the person arrives be nice, smile, introduce yourself and mention that you are sorry you touched their stuff and you hope they don't mind but you needed the next machine. Generally speaking, that person (if it is you, listen up!) will be thankful and remorseful. The most important thing to remember here is to "treat others as you would like to be treated!" 

2. Don't Be That Guy! - Okay so as you read above, no one wants to touch your stuff, so please be timely about your laundering. Set a timer, bring a book, join the club, we have other things to do too! If you don't want people touching your skivvies then get your butt back to the laundry room on time, or don't even leave. Focus solely on the task at hand and GET 'er DONE! 

3. Clean the Lint Trap - Nothing worse than checking the lint trap and finding animal hair, pieces of crumpled up paper and who knows what in the screen. The unwritten rule is clean it immediately after you remove your dry clothing. While I don't mind finding $money$ in the machine I do mind that fact that I have to touch (eww) whatever it is that you wanted to wash OUT of your stuff. Thanks, but no thanks.

4. NO SMOKING. Seriously, I was in shock when I saw people crowded around the door of the washroom puffing away on those things! While I'm trying to make things smell clean they are right at the doorway stinking it up again. Geesh! Besides, my health I am interested in keeping my clean laundry smelling like the Tide I walked in here with, thanks.

5. Be Organized -Nothing worse than waiting for a machine with a person standing in front of it sorting the whites from the colors. Get your laundry in order. Get your quarters or tokens in advance. Have all the supplies you need before you occupy the machine. You may have walked into an empty room but don't take that as your que to spread out and call it home.

 6. Remember You Are a Guest - This is not your washing machine. This is not your boat or your house and you will have to "share" this space. Be kind, be courteous and be clean. Thankfully, this space was here so you could go have clean clothes. Treat this space as you would better than your own. Wipe down any spills immediately, put garbage in proper location and remember to check and re-check that you have all of your materials and clothing before you leave.

Laundry can be a very touchy subject and hopefully, I haven't offended anyone but this does need to be said. I am no angel I have been "that guy" - believe me. That being said, I totally had a good reason for showing up late and thankfully the person who waited patiently for me to return to my work was super nice. Hence, my affinity for treating people the way you wish to be treated. In any case, I think you will find that you'll have a great laundry experience if you remember this advice. Happy Washing!!!

Wishing you your own felicity.

Sign Says

Sign reads: Welcome! My shop is nicely priced and you will find cool stuff! Warning, I do not have change so bring the right amount! Love, Gia

Past Guests

 

Here we are with Rudi and Roxanne in Long Island, Acklin Islands, Bahamas 2011.Having guests on board can be the most difficult and rewarding experience of your cruising journey. Sometime you never know what you are going to get. In our situation, Roxanne is my sister and I knew what I signed up for with her. But, when we asked Roxanne to bring a friend for the leg to Jamaica we weren't sure what we had in store. We spent the better part of 3 months living in close quarters and experiencing some of the more incredible parts of our trip with them. The memories we created of that time will live forever in our minds and have created an unbreakable friendship.

These guys were crucial crew in getting San San from Bahamas to Jamaica. I'm not a big fan of overnight unless there is a 4 person rotation! Rudi was my watch partner for the 3 long nights to Jamaica. We talked about everything from our past to our future and shared music and jokes together while we navigated our little home across the Windward Passage, one of the scarier for me passages. GR and Rox were watch partners and I'm sure they did the same, that right there, the sharing of  responsibility for the boat, for the vessel in which we all live in, care for and depend on is another very strong connection made while cruising with guests.

I added a page to the blog called "Past Guests"  where I am asking our past guests on any of our previous boats to leave us a little message telling our readers what their experience was like. I hope to encourage more people to join us, may it be for a season or for a week. We are living our dream and being able to share it with others is our passion. Please take some time to read their words.

*If you would like to write up a few words about your experience with us, please email mvfelicity@gmail.com

The Objective

*borrowed from Pinterest*

So, just what exactly are we planning to do with this blog and this boat?

Although all plans are written in sand we definitely have an idea of how we want this to go down. We will just keep doing what we have always done; pray about it, work towards our goals and let everything else just kind of happen.

When we were looking for another boat after San San we knew we needed a third cabin. Why? Well for the masses of guests we plan on having come out cruising with us of course! Once we are ready, we plan to jump across to the Bahamas and invite people to fly in and experience" Island Life" as it should be. We will practice yoga on the sandy beaches of our "own" private islands and just generally do the cruising thing. We love sharing this with anyone who wants to learn and play!

Through the blog we hope to find many friends who'd like to join us. We'd like to share our knowledge with the boating community. We want to spread the wealth and find companies who will sponsor us and allow us to review products and test gear. Hopefully, we will turn our followers onto their gear. Now that we have entered the mysterious world of power boating we have all new concepts and products to explore!

So sit back, relax and enjoy the ride!

In The World but OUT of the Stream

The view from our world...

Once again it's been a long time since I've published anything. In fact, it's been a long time since I've actually  sat down for more than 20 minutes other than dinner time. Dinner time at our home aka -  the floating palace, is a special time where we come together and share what went on in our lives while we were apart. Last week, I noticed I was going through some sort of withdrawal from my loves! I missed spending time with them and felt that school and work were taking there toll on us.

Having been separated from North America for the past 10 months I see not much has changed. I notice it in my customers' actions. They come into The Bookstore in a rush practically shoving their credit card in my hand or rushing their children to "hurry up and select a book" because they are double parked. It pains me to see. Recently, a product came in called, "Today I..." It's a game of conversation starters for families so that they can get a dialogue going about their day. When I saw this my gut reaction was, "Really?" I am so thankful our family doesn't need a game to tell us how to talk to each other. In fact, I heard someone say they were trying to have at least one family meal together each week and I thought, "Wow, is that enough?" What could be so important that people don't have enough time to sit down each night and have dinner?

Cruising/ Living on board has afforded us tons of quality time, time to cook together, talk about our days events and just bond. GR and I both agree that as children our families spent every night eating dinner together until we moved away from home. Even with all the after school sports and activities our families felt compelled to create an environment where talking, sharing and spending meal time together was imperative. It's not about the food it's about the gathering. Studies show that kids from families that spend meal time together are less likely to smoke, drink underage, swear, consider suicide and are more likely to have table manners, use better vocabulary and do well in school.

Now, we are living on the boat but we are citizens in the "real" world. I hold onto the sanctuary that we have created aboard Felicity. As we dinghy out to the boat I slowly feel the chains of land life lift off my shoulders. As we approach the stern of the boat, I feel the excitement and relief that comes with any homecoming. We throw all our backpacks and bags down and congregate in the galley. We make dinner, do home work and share the load of daily stresses.Our little "island" in the Bay offers the most incredible view of the "land of plenty" with out all the taxes, anchors and commitments. If we really wanted to we could throw off the lines and take off to any other place but here! We are secluded and separate in more ways than one. In that way, I love being a cruiser/live aboard in the world but out of the stream.

In what ways do you stay connected with your family?

With Peace & Love for You Today.